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Does anybody else own a cat 19:32 - Nov 18 with 1616 viewsrgp1

Who waits patiently for you to clean the litter tray, then takes great delight in dumping in it as soon as you've cleaned it?
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Does anybody else own a cat on 19:41 - Nov 18 with 1579 viewsNthQldITFC

edit: [sorry - I said a nasty thing]
[Post edited 18 Nov 2019 20:02]

The only thing I know is that I might be wrong about everything else.
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Does anybody else own a cat on 19:48 - Nov 18 with 1568 viewsBanksterDebtSlave

Could be worse.....

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Does anybody else own a cat on 19:54 - Nov 18 with 1556 viewsPendejo

Yes ours is like that. She moans like hell if her toilet is dirty, fair play to her she don't like a dirty toilet.

uberima fides
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Does anybody else own a cat on 20:09 - Nov 18 with 1522 viewsgiant_ullaa

Wait for it to get a bit senile - then it will start plopping on the sides of the tray.

Has anyone ever looked at their own postings for last day or so? Oh my... so sorry.
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Does anybody else own a cat on 20:26 - Nov 18 with 1498 viewsArnieM

Get a cat flap. Marvelous things .
The cat just lets themself out for a dump and then comes back in👍

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Does anybody else own a cat on 20:37 - Nov 18 with 1483 viewsjeera

To be fair, I don't like cats, but sounds like you have a good one.

If there's such a thing.

Well it looks like a duck, it sounds like a duck. Nope, dunno what it is.
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Does anybody else own a cat on 20:40 - Nov 18 with 1475 viewsJohnny_Boy

Does anybody else own a cat on 19:54 - Nov 18 by Pendejo

Yes ours is like that. She moans like hell if her toilet is dirty, fair play to her she don't like a dirty toilet.


I vacuumed the flat today. Placed the litter tray on the laundry basket to clean up around it. Finished off the living room, kitchen, hallway. Just about to put the hoover back & I hear a loud crash. Walked into room - both cats come charging out.

The litter tray (clean, thankfully?!) was knocked over & the contents just absolutely bloody everywhere.
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Does anybody else own a cat on 21:09 - Nov 18 with 1426 viewsfactual_blue

Does anybody else own a cat on 20:37 - Nov 18 by jeera

To be fair, I don't like cats, but sounds like you have a good one.

If there's such a thing.


As Ed Byrne observed at the Apex the other day, 'a friend of ours thinks his cat is really clever because it can open a door.

Our cat is more clever, as it gets us to open the door for him'.

Ta neige, Acadie, fait des larmes au soleil
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Does anybody else own a cat on 22:14 - Nov 18 with 1358 viewsVaughan8

Yes my cat does this as well as going outside, then coming in, doing a poo, then going out again. Bloody stupid thing!
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Does anybody else own a cat on 23:52 - Nov 18 with 1281 viewsrgp1

Does anybody else own a cat on 20:37 - Nov 18 by jeera

To be fair, I don't like cats, but sounds like you have a good one.

If there's such a thing.


Yes he is, he goes out then comes back in to use the toilet then back out again.
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Does anybody else own a cat on 00:23 - Nov 19 with 1268 viewsStNeotsBlue

Does anybody else own a cat on 20:26 - Nov 18 by ArnieM

Get a cat flap. Marvelous things .
The cat just lets themself out for a dump and then comes back in👍


Didn't work for us, a massive ginger Tom used to just bundle his way through and cause chaos. When my marriage went tits up I inherited 2 cats the nice one sadly died a couple of years ago and I'm left with a neurotic horrible sod who seems to be immortal.
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Does anybody else own a cat on 00:30 - Nov 19 with 1257 viewsrgp1

Does anybody else own a cat on 20:26 - Nov 18 by ArnieM

Get a cat flap. Marvelous things .
The cat just lets themself out for a dump and then comes back in👍


Cat flaps are not good, you end up with lots of small cats
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Does anybody else own a cat on 00:42 - Nov 19 with 1249 viewsjeera

Does anybody else own a cat on 22:14 - Nov 18 by Vaughan8

Yes my cat does this as well as going outside, then coming in, doing a poo, then going out again. Bloody stupid thing!


That's not stupid - that's smart.

That way he doesn't get abuse from the neighbours.

Or shot at.

Well it looks like a duck, it sounds like a duck. Nope, dunno what it is.
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Does anybody else own a cat on 07:07 - Nov 19 with 1152 viewsVaughan8

Does anybody else own a cat on 00:42 - Nov 19 by jeera

That's not stupid - that's smart.

That way he doesn't get abuse from the neighbours.

Or shot at.


True it is smart........however she gets shout3d at from me and not fed for a week.......Not so smart now is it? Haha

Just for the record I dont do that before people can't take a joke!
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Does anybody else own a cat on 07:20 - Nov 19 with 1131 viewsCoastalblue

Surely no one owns a cat?

No idea when I began here, was a very long time ago. Previously known as Spirit_of_81. Love cheese, hate the colour of it, this is why it requires some blue in it.
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Does anybody else own a cat on 07:26 - Nov 19 with 1128 viewshampstead_blue

Does anybody else own a cat on 19:48 - Nov 18 by BanksterDebtSlave

Could be worse.....


We've a just black British short hair called Storm.

He refuses to take a dump outside. He's the only pure bred cat we've ever had. It may be something to do with that.

On the topic of litter trays....I recommend Maizy. Made of corn, go's straight into the compost bin OR you can cook with it and give as gifts for those at work you really don't like.

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Does anybody else own a cat on 09:04 - Nov 19 with 1082 viewsJimmyJazz

Does anybody go to have a dump, finding that the toilet hadn't been flushed previously and poo is still in the toilet, think 'i'll save on flushing, have a dump and then flush the lot afterwards'?

No? So why would cats think it's a good idea unless there's no other option?

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Does anybody else own a cat on 09:11 - Nov 19 with 1075 viewsfactual_blue

Does anybody else own a cat on 07:07 - Nov 19 by Vaughan8

True it is smart........however she gets shout3d at from me and not fed for a week.......Not so smart now is it? Haha

Just for the record I dont do that before people can't take a joke!


*Rings Social Services*

Ta neige, Acadie, fait des larmes au soleil
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Does anybody else own a cat on 12:39 - Nov 19 with 1008 viewsRyorry

Does anybody else own a cat on 20:40 - Nov 18 by Johnny_Boy

I vacuumed the flat today. Placed the litter tray on the laundry basket to clean up around it. Finished off the living room, kitchen, hallway. Just about to put the hoover back & I hear a loud crash. Walked into room - both cats come charging out.

The litter tray (clean, thankfully?!) was knocked over & the contents just absolutely bloody everywhere.


Always someone worse off than you though ..! (apols to those who've seen it before, this has done the rounds on fb) -

"Jesse Newton is with Kelly McQueen Newton.
10 August 2016 · Little Rock, AR, United States ·

So, last week, something pretty tragic happened in our household. It's taken me until now to wrap my head around it and find the words to describe the horror. It started off simple enough - something that's probably happened to most of you.

Sometime between midnight and 1:30am, our puppy Evie pooped on our rug in the living room. This is the only time she's done this, so it's probably just because we forgot to let her out before we went to bed that night. Now, if you have a detective's mind, you may be wondering how we know the poop occurred between midnight and 1:30am. We were asleep, so how do I know that time frame?

Why, friends, that's because our Roomba runs at 1:30am every night, while we sleep. And it found the poop. And so begins the Pooptastrophe. The poohpocalypse. The pooppening.

If you have a Roomba, please rid yourself of all distractions and absorb everything I'm about to tell you.

Do not, under any circumstances, let your Roomba run over dog poop. If the unthinkable does happen, and your Roomba runs over dog poop, stop it immediately and do not let it continue the cleaning cycle. Because if that happens, it will spread the dog poop over every conceivable surface within its reach, resulting in a home that closely resembles a Jackson Pollock poop painting.

It will be on your floorboards. It will be on your furniture legs. It will be on your carpets. It will be on your rugs. It will be on your kids' toy boxes. If it's near the floor, it will have poop on it. Those awesome wheels, which have a checkered surface for better traction, left 25-foot poop trails all over the house. Our lovable Roomba, who gets a careful cleaning every night, looked like it had been mudding. Yes, mudding - like what you do with a Jeep on a pipeline road. But in poop.

Then, when your four-year-old gets up at 3am to crawl into your bed, you'll wonder why he smells like dog poop. And you'll walk into the living room. And you'll wonder why the floor feels slightly gritty. And you'll see a brown-encrusted, vaguely Roomba-shaped thing sitting in the middle of the floor with a glowing green light, like everything's okay. Like it's proud of itself. You were still half-asleep until this point, but now you wake up pretty damn quickly.

And then the horror. Oh the horror.

So, first you clean the child. You scrub the poop off his feet and put him back in bed. But you don't bother cleaning your own feet, because you know what's coming. It's inevitable, and it's coming at you like a freight train. Some folks would shrug their shoulders and get back in bed to deal with it in the morning. But you're not one of those people - you can't go to sleep with that war zone of poop in the living room.

So you clean the Roomba. You toss it in the bathtub to let it soak. You pull it apart, piece-by-piece, wondering at what point you became an adult and assumed responsibility for 3:30am-Roomba-disassembly-poop-cleanups. By this point, the poop isn't just on your hands - it's smeared up to your elbows. You already heard the Roomba make that "whirlllllllllllllllll-boop-hisssssssss" noise that sounds like electronics dying, and you realize you forgot to pull the battery before getting it wet. More on that later.

Oh, and you're not just using profanity - you're inventing new types of profanity. You're saying things that would make Satan shudder in revulsion. You hope your kid stayed in bed, because if he hears you talking like this, there's no way he's not ending up in prison.

Then you get out the carpet shampooer. When you push it up to the rug - the rug that started it all - the shampooer just laughs at you. Because that rug is going in the trash, folks. But you shampoo it anyway, because your wife loved that damn rug, and you know she'll ask if you tried to clean it first.

Then you get out the paper towel rolls, idly wondering if you should invest in paper towel stock, and you blow through three or four rolls wiping up poop. Then you get the spray bottle with bleach water and hose down the floor boards to let them soak, because the poop has already dried. Then out comes the steam mop, and you take care of those 25-ft poop trails.

And then, because it's 6am, you go to bed. Let's finish this tomorrow, right?

The next day, you finish taking the Roomba apart, scraping out all the tiny flecks of poop, and after watching a few Youtube instructional videos, you remove the motherboard to wash it with a toothbrush. Then you bake it in the oven to dry. You put it all back together, and of course it doesn't work. Because you heard the "whirlllllllllllllll-boop-hissssssss" noise when it died its poopy death in the bathtub. But you hoped that maybe the Roomba gods would have mercy on you.

But there's a light at the end of the tunnel. After spending a week researching how to fix this damn $400 Roomba without spending $400 again - including refurb units, new motherboards, and new batteries - you finally decide to call the place where you bought it. That place called Hammacher Schlemmer. They have a funny name, but they have an awesome warranty. They claim it's for life, and it's for any reason.

So I called them and told the truth. My Roomba found dog poop and almost precipitated World War III.

And you know what they did? They offered to replace it. Yes, folks. They are replacing the Roomba that ran over dog poop and then died a poopy, watery death in the bathtub - by no fault of their own, of course.

So, mad props to Hammacher Schlemmer. If you're buying anything expensive, and they sell it, I recommend buying it from them. And remember - don't let your Roomba run over dog poop."

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Does anybody else own a cat on 12:57 - Nov 19 with 972 viewsSuperblue95

Does anybody else own a cat on 00:23 - Nov 19 by StNeotsBlue

Didn't work for us, a massive ginger Tom used to just bundle his way through and cause chaos. When my marriage went tits up I inherited 2 cats the nice one sadly died a couple of years ago and I'm left with a neurotic horrible sod who seems to be immortal.


You can get cat flaps that only open for your cats

My hobbies include being quiet during trips, clapping with songs, and diabetes.
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Does anybody else own a cat on 13:13 - Nov 19 with 952 viewswkj

Does anybody else own a cat on 12:57 - Nov 19 by Superblue95

You can get cat flaps that only open for your cats


Not really such a great thing to have in all honesty...

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a45893/hairball-vag/

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Does anybody else own a cat on 16:00 - Nov 19 with 876 viewsbritbiker

Does anybody else own a cat on 12:39 - Nov 19 by Ryorry

Always someone worse off than you though ..! (apols to those who've seen it before, this has done the rounds on fb) -

"Jesse Newton is with Kelly McQueen Newton.
10 August 2016 · Little Rock, AR, United States ·

So, last week, something pretty tragic happened in our household. It's taken me until now to wrap my head around it and find the words to describe the horror. It started off simple enough - something that's probably happened to most of you.

Sometime between midnight and 1:30am, our puppy Evie pooped on our rug in the living room. This is the only time she's done this, so it's probably just because we forgot to let her out before we went to bed that night. Now, if you have a detective's mind, you may be wondering how we know the poop occurred between midnight and 1:30am. We were asleep, so how do I know that time frame?

Why, friends, that's because our Roomba runs at 1:30am every night, while we sleep. And it found the poop. And so begins the Pooptastrophe. The poohpocalypse. The pooppening.

If you have a Roomba, please rid yourself of all distractions and absorb everything I'm about to tell you.

Do not, under any circumstances, let your Roomba run over dog poop. If the unthinkable does happen, and your Roomba runs over dog poop, stop it immediately and do not let it continue the cleaning cycle. Because if that happens, it will spread the dog poop over every conceivable surface within its reach, resulting in a home that closely resembles a Jackson Pollock poop painting.

It will be on your floorboards. It will be on your furniture legs. It will be on your carpets. It will be on your rugs. It will be on your kids' toy boxes. If it's near the floor, it will have poop on it. Those awesome wheels, which have a checkered surface for better traction, left 25-foot poop trails all over the house. Our lovable Roomba, who gets a careful cleaning every night, looked like it had been mudding. Yes, mudding - like what you do with a Jeep on a pipeline road. But in poop.

Then, when your four-year-old gets up at 3am to crawl into your bed, you'll wonder why he smells like dog poop. And you'll walk into the living room. And you'll wonder why the floor feels slightly gritty. And you'll see a brown-encrusted, vaguely Roomba-shaped thing sitting in the middle of the floor with a glowing green light, like everything's okay. Like it's proud of itself. You were still half-asleep until this point, but now you wake up pretty damn quickly.

And then the horror. Oh the horror.

So, first you clean the child. You scrub the poop off his feet and put him back in bed. But you don't bother cleaning your own feet, because you know what's coming. It's inevitable, and it's coming at you like a freight train. Some folks would shrug their shoulders and get back in bed to deal with it in the morning. But you're not one of those people - you can't go to sleep with that war zone of poop in the living room.

So you clean the Roomba. You toss it in the bathtub to let it soak. You pull it apart, piece-by-piece, wondering at what point you became an adult and assumed responsibility for 3:30am-Roomba-disassembly-poop-cleanups. By this point, the poop isn't just on your hands - it's smeared up to your elbows. You already heard the Roomba make that "whirlllllllllllllllll-boop-hisssssssss" noise that sounds like electronics dying, and you realize you forgot to pull the battery before getting it wet. More on that later.

Oh, and you're not just using profanity - you're inventing new types of profanity. You're saying things that would make Satan shudder in revulsion. You hope your kid stayed in bed, because if he hears you talking like this, there's no way he's not ending up in prison.

Then you get out the carpet shampooer. When you push it up to the rug - the rug that started it all - the shampooer just laughs at you. Because that rug is going in the trash, folks. But you shampoo it anyway, because your wife loved that damn rug, and you know she'll ask if you tried to clean it first.

Then you get out the paper towel rolls, idly wondering if you should invest in paper towel stock, and you blow through three or four rolls wiping up poop. Then you get the spray bottle with bleach water and hose down the floor boards to let them soak, because the poop has already dried. Then out comes the steam mop, and you take care of those 25-ft poop trails.

And then, because it's 6am, you go to bed. Let's finish this tomorrow, right?

The next day, you finish taking the Roomba apart, scraping out all the tiny flecks of poop, and after watching a few Youtube instructional videos, you remove the motherboard to wash it with a toothbrush. Then you bake it in the oven to dry. You put it all back together, and of course it doesn't work. Because you heard the "whirlllllllllllllll-boop-hissssssss" noise when it died its poopy death in the bathtub. But you hoped that maybe the Roomba gods would have mercy on you.

But there's a light at the end of the tunnel. After spending a week researching how to fix this damn $400 Roomba without spending $400 again - including refurb units, new motherboards, and new batteries - you finally decide to call the place where you bought it. That place called Hammacher Schlemmer. They have a funny name, but they have an awesome warranty. They claim it's for life, and it's for any reason.

So I called them and told the truth. My Roomba found dog poop and almost precipitated World War III.

And you know what they did? They offered to replace it. Yes, folks. They are replacing the Roomba that ran over dog poop and then died a poopy, watery death in the bathtub - by no fault of their own, of course.

So, mad props to Hammacher Schlemmer. If you're buying anything expensive, and they sell it, I recommend buying it from them. And remember - don't let your Roomba run over dog poop."


Puts my story to shame.
Our dog has never had a mishap on our very old carpet.

I decorated the lounge last month and had a new carpet fitted. Within one week he has had a bout of doggie diarreha on it and also been sick twice.

Good job he's cute otherwise an outside kennel would be on the cards.
[Post edited 19 Nov 2019 16:03]
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Does anybody else own a cat on 21:46 - Nov 19 with 795 viewsRyorry

Does anybody else own a cat on 16:00 - Nov 19 by britbiker

Puts my story to shame.
Our dog has never had a mishap on our very old carpet.

I decorated the lounge last month and had a new carpet fitted. Within one week he has had a bout of doggie diarreha on it and also been sick twice.

Good job he's cute otherwise an outside kennel would be on the cards.
[Post edited 19 Nov 2019 16:03]


Sid's law (esp if your dog's called Sid!).

Poll: Should VAR be abolished

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Does anybody else own a cat on 22:16 - Nov 19 with 766 viewsOldsmoker

Does anybody else own a cat on 07:20 - Nov 19 by Coastalblue

Surely no one owns a cat?


Correct.
My cat owns me.
I'm just a member of her staff.

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